There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
