Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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