Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
