I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
