Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dignity is for republicans.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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