Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
