Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
