Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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