I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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