I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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