I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
