I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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