i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
