Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
