But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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