...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
