she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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