A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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