is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
