gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming