pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.