Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.