You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
