Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
