Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
