It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
