Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
