I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
