once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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