Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize