I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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