I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
