Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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