I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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