this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
