Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
