Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
