i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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