i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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