I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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