He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize