it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
