Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
