Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
