i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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