im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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