I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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