Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
