My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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