We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
