when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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