people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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