Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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(206): View more from Washington

And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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(310): View more from California

LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

(310): View more from California

And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.

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(+48): View more from Poland

there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.

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(540): View more from Virginia

After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"

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