Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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