also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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