i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
