every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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