fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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