Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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