Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
