Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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