I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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