Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
