glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
